2nd week into it.

the weekends had been great,had 2 quality days with my darling and cooked her a wonderful and healthy meal last night.

she has been great during workouts...doing whatever i tell her to,60lbs for many men for a squat seems pretty heavy it seems...judging from their puny stick legs and the fucking pussy weight they handle.its not for her.from supersets to giant sets to compound movements ,she will do em all.

last week after legs training i got fucked up pretty badly due to the clen that i was on.it fucked my leg up so bad i had to call an ambulance to transport me to the nearest hospital. after that incident,i swear im nv going to fucking touch that motha fucking piece of thrash again.

dieting...has been like a share market...body respomding up and down...my fat % did not drop this week...and that was the last straw...a mother fucking wake up call with a slap on the face to me. my weight shot up by 1kg and my fat remained the same...yes slight increase in muscle mass but what the fuck 1kg increase in a week? ive got to be outta my mind.

and so this week i decided to change and switch things up a lil...going on a carb cycling program.by hook or by crook,im dropping my fat % to 17 %.

and who do i blame? no one else but my mother fucking self. everyonce inawhile,i lose control of myself,i fuck up my whole diet plan just by straying alil of course cuz i was lazy and i wasnt disciplined.

no one told me i had to go and prepare for this show,no one told me to spend 1k on substances,no one asked me to eat shitty things like chicken breasts ,its becuz i chse this path,a path many entered but never came out alive.and if i dont come out alive,ive only myself to blame for the inner demons that have consumed me along the way.

its time i reflect.