how how how????

man...

today met sweets during lunch and she sure looks pretty in her uniform but she dun wanna listen to me..sometimes i tihnk u lk prettier in less make up..u lk great in both but u dun have to put on so much sweets.. ;p

during lunch she said i shrank..i was smiling..but deep inside..i was hurt.

than i asked myself the whole day...what do i want ?do i want bbding or muay thai?i took up muay thai for the interest and to protect myself and my loved one.however i took up bodybuilding ..used to be becuz of her,not anymore..its not for myself and for my loved one..i want her to feel proud..but i cant be good at 2 things..i really duno what to do..sometimes..i wanna ask my friend...but its myself who i shld really ask..

after i returned from muay thai training and took a bath,i stared in the mirror and asked myself.its what i have been doing and what i am now that pple look up to me,that pple recognise me for that pple love me for.pple recognise me in sec sch,jc and poly and muay thai for the size that i have.yea,i wanna return back to my size..with abs and to grow bigger from there...

tmr is the 1st of april.let me start all over again..plan my meals,training and sleeping time all over again..my strength dropped as my weight dropped..its ok..ill start all over again..let tmr be anew beginning..

miss you sweets,cant wait to see you again tmr..

yet another history in the making..

just woke up,had my breakfast,and now i wanna talk about yesterday.what a memorable day it had been ,it was history in the making,for me at least.it was yet another day that was to be written in my journal,as i told her,my journal is left with 2 pages,and i wanted to leave that last 2 page for smth special,i was hoping to close the chapter with smth memorable ,and i did.

lets see,i was actually feeling really excited yet worried what if i didnt know what to say when im with her.my brother said,it will come naturally if ure comfortable with her.and it did.my brother asked me to take her for a movie and all.i thought it was wayy too simple way too common.i wanted to do smth special.so we met at orchard mrt,was late,i sincerely apologise for that due to the breakdown of my lift.

we had a drink at lido starbucks.we left for pasir ris after an hour,gota say sweets was dressed to the nines,you looked beautiful lady..i appreciate it.

took bus 403 from pasir ris ,interchange.amanda asked me to hold her in my arms,i did ;).was really thankful that mid summer breeze wasnt really crowded and the skies were clear...baby set next to me and we looked at the stars..enjoyed the sea breeze and listened as the waves crashed gently against the shores...i was speechless ..there was a moment of silence..but i felt lucky..it was my honour to spend such a wonderful night ,in such a wonderful place with such a wonderful person.and of course,unbreakable by westlife was aired...totally loved that moment.

brandon and amanda,next time i wanna bring you guys there...you guys wont regret it for sure..

as we were sitting on a bench in the park after dinner,i asked her the golden question,and i got a kiss. haha...damn that moment,it was outta this world.

like what ive told her,whenever i stepped into pasir ris,im always upset,cuz sarah stays there and every where i go to ...there will be memories.as i passed by her hse yesterday...i didnt feel that sense of emptiness or sadness anymore.it was baby who made it all go away..she made it just another estate.im thankful for that..

o and thanks alot for the card,i lovedd it very much.

sorry about my gastric pain..

thanks brandon and amanda for ur support..am thankful for knowing a gd friend such as you..and it was through you that i found her.

we r now truly..the magical 4...the fantastic 4..

i never regretted choosin you...

love you sweets.

30th of march...

waiting for you sweets

brandz came over to my hse to stay over last night..had a chat at starbucks,below my hse with liang,and caught a movie at my place and we freaking hell slept at 4am..lol

crap la,my shins bruised till today..freaking hell..but ill still go for training later la..no choice.what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.

argh...and both of us miss the both of em sooo much!! till today i just think its so cool! 2 bestie friends in love with another 2 bestie friends,and those 2 best friends went away on the same day,and coming back on the same day too! haha!

one more day before she comes back..cant wait luh!!!

as i was sitting on my bed this morning,i thought to myself..what do i want in this coming rship,how do i want it to be diff from the rest,how it cld be a much improved one,a more stable and smooth one.

and so these are the factors that ive listed out ,factors that ive never shown in previous r ships..

1) communication: something that ive been laggin in not only in terms of relationship.the past 2 had been a total failure due to the lack of communication.

2) trust:this was smth i didnt show at all in my previous.cuz she was pretty,cuz there were many guys after her,cuz she was always out with the guys.that was the downfall that lead to revenge this year.this time,its the same,shes pretty,alot of guys after her ,if im gona let the lack of trust affect my r ship,i might as well not start in the first place,if she had chose me,she will stick by it and so will i.

3) faith:something i didnt have at all.we must have faith that this will work out,we must want it so bad it becomes a need.

one thing that brandon agreed i shld change abt myself is..my temperementalness.sometimes it just gets out of hand.i get pissed by the slightest things in life,one min im smiling at home or at the gym,the next minute my face is just pure black,like im gona kill someone.brandon knows it best...change it baby!

was talking to sequeena and brandz yest,and i voiced out my concern on the new sch she is gg to..im bound to face lotsa competition,well she told me one thing,if im gona let my "old jealous"self repeat history,dun start in the first place.if she chose me,she will stick with that decision.period.

speakin of sequeena,dam its been months since i last saw you 4 mths to be exact,and yea sorry i cant make it today due to my training.but definitly b4 sch reopens i wanna have a meal with you and a.s.k! haha!

anyway...missing you sweets...cant wait for you to be back tmr!

sorry..

yea perhaps you have found out about what had happened.we tried to hide it all of us,but its a matter of time b4 u found out.i knew from the small actions u did...

i know its a bad time for you to find out for ur gandpa passed away.but do know we have commited nth wrong.i know how you feel as ive been in ur shoes b4..many times infact...it felt like shit but if ure a man ull get over it within a month.stand up,be a fighter.


dun wan this to ruin our friendship...

went out with em and met her for lunch ..i dislike eating subway though..but its alright..

met her at night and went for some snacks ...sent her home..was really feelin euphoric after that experience...wish for it to nv end..

if ure reading this,lets try our best to make it work aights?ive seen my other half beein bullied and pushed arnd...but this time..this time i swear it wun happen to you...cuz not only ure the best ive ever had,but becuz he is special to me to..and i promised him..

they'll probably end up as sandbags..

i told my parents abt you...haha guess what they said?ill tell u when ure back...

missing you sweets...

ure the best i ever had..

last night had been an emotional roller coaster for me.

was really upset and all,went down to have a drink came home alil too intoxicated..but i still talked to her and brandy.

i thrashed things out with em and to my surpprise everything went well!

everything happens for a reason,perhaps what sarah did to me happened for a reason,knowing her and being with her ,i cldnt ask for anyting more in the worldone word from you and ill go to church,when ive not gone for yrs...

we did agree that we wld take it slow....no rushhopefully this will be a long lasting one....hopefully...the last one.

lovin u cant be any betta

frustrated

havent i learnt my lesson?

it happened 4 yrs ago,and now i still commit the same mistake?!

what the fuck is wrong with me?!

todays training had been the worse so far,got kicked by my coach in the shins quite a few times and a part of the shin has a huge bump,some scratches and huge bruises..it hurt when we had to kick the bags again..

but thinking of you and thinking of him,i kicked hard,every blow counted.i didnt care if it hurts..

next time,i will imagine ur face on the bag,even if i had to kick till i bleed i will..

happy

im so happy..

went out with brandon ,amanda and beverly yesterday..

went to clark quay to have some desserts and all...i loved the night life there..kinda romantic i think..

great to see brandy so happy with his other half..and yea got my chance to chat with bever..am uberly about it!!!

haha..but when i got home..somethings i heard..piss the shit out of me..well i guess thats what pple get for being nice...

suicide,unhapiness,biasness,betrayal,feud,one sided blame..some of the words that pissed me off one after another...

ill train hard..when i cant pull another rep or push another rep..i imagine myself that vance is holding on to her,and im pulling with every ounce of strngth..pulling her away from him..

when i fight,ill fight hard and when my shins can hardly take the beatings from the bag,when i feel like collapsing from the arduous cardiac activity when i get kicked till im bruised..ill push..kcik harder whack harder for i imagine that hes doing harm to you and ill beat him up no matter how good a fighter he is..

sleepness nights...all because..

more of hells kitchen!

this is the cont from episode 4 till epi 7













epi 5











epi 6











epi 7

happy me

im happy..

stayed over at brandys house and happy for him ...found his special someone too!

i talked to peter and told him im not gging for nationals this yr..ill be taking part in muscle war next year..

im at 84kg now...lost 11kg since jan 25..when i was 95kg..

im so in love with this song right now..i might use it for posing..

reminds me of some stuff that never cease to make me smile..no this time its not her..





muay thai is getting so much freaking tougher...got a bruise on my arm from the kicks i received yesterday..but nevertheless its the challenge that makes it so fun!

sheesh im always aiming for the impossible ending up failing miserably...dont know what i mean?wait and see...i cant help it..

2 of my fav fights

here are 2 fights from one of my many fav fighters buakaw!

smth disturbing..

max was telling me smth that was really disturbing..

though i didnt take it seriously at first,idecided to do some ressearch on it..


you guys watch it and decide for urself..

if thats the case..not saying that its true..or not true..

it doesnt really have anything to do with religion.but..if the predictions r correct..there is really no point in everyone working their asses off now...cuz..it will all just end...

but than again..its a prediction..hopeflly...it doesnt come true..

this was broadcast on the history channel...


part 1



part 2

uh uh no more

damn...today..trained legs..10 sets of squats 110kg for 8 sets..135kg and 135kg for the last two..two bitch ass friends of mine forced me to do em..

rested for 45 mins before rushing down for my muay thai training...fuck my legs cramped when i skipped...and cramped every single time i kicked..god i wanted to shout..FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! lol..

training was fun..shadow boxing was enough to get me sweating like a dog...not to mention pad works whr i hurt my fucking ankle when i teamed with hao..but u gota agree hao that pad works were fuckin fun!
right after kicked the 6 foot bags and hurt my toe..as usual..shins forever brusied like fuck after every training..

this time im NOT gona do my freaking legs b4 MT training..nono NO MORE!

saw my coach photos today..dam he fought till his mouth was oozing with blood..but still won the matches..pretty awesome..

will post other epi of hells kit tmr !

canto de la terra

this is not an installment of hells kitchen..

this is a song that i have recently come across..

the song is so wonderful..it brings tears to ur eyes,this is music..true music to ur ears..the both of em are like a heavens choir missing 2 angels..

blast the music to listen to how perfect their voices are..

sarah brightman and andrea bocelli

HELLS KITCHEN SEASON 3

thats right ladies and gents! hells kitchen season 3 right here exclusivly on my blog!

this has got to be my fav reality tv series besides contender asia...

here are three episodes..ill upload more every week...

ONEA



ONEB



ONEC



ONE D



ONE E



TWO A



TWO B



TWOC



TWO D



TWO E



THREE A



THREE B



THREE C



THREE D




THREE E

sigh

so sorry fangz i cant make it for ur grad tmr...

my family have some problems recently and i have to help settle part of it tmr...

family disputes and misunderstandings becuz of $$..

why cant they understand we're helping him and not for own purposes?

secondly

i dun see apoint in distributing the $

its rightfully ours..

ouchhhh

wow! muay thai is sure fun alright!

its really intensive..you perspire within 2 minutes...first lesson was alright..loads of emphasis on blocking and punching...got to hit the bag with kicks..and they sure hurt!

today right after gym went for muay thai lessons..surprisingly i still cld do 60 push ups after chest training.

shit when the coach said kick the bags..i so wasnt lookin foward to it...like more thnan hal an hr of kicking the fuckin bag...my leg was swelling up liek shit..each kick was like a smack to ur fucking shin bone..and god knows how many times he made us kick em..

learnt the jab ,cross, hook,uppercut and round house kick.

got my gloves and wraps at 100 bucks..fuck im broke..

i just hope in another few lessons i wld have enough power and speed and ENDUREANCE to take the fuckin pain from kicking those bags...

taking a break from bodybuilding

out of a sudden..i just feel so tired..tired from training..from the pounding of weights on my body...yea it comes every year...once a year there will be apoint in time where i am just so sick of hitting the gym..

after a week or so..that drive will come back..after looking at myself at the damages done and the muscle that i lost..i will be back harder than ever again.past week,skipped 5 trainings and missed some meals here and there...

probably will be back the week after..

what an opportunity i guess..

today after so many yrs..he talked to me on msn..

he asked me about muay thai stuff and he wants to join me...

i was reluctant at first but..come to think of it..i want him to join my class..one day when we get to sparr..ill beat the shit out of him..and its not gona be my fault cuz its sparring..

i always wanted to get him..this time..its the right chance..

im someone who remembers all good and bad things pple had done to me...if u did something for me..i will repay you..if you let me down...you willdeserve the same..waited for the right chance to beat you up...i guess after 3 years...maybe..this isit..